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May 19th, 2012
12:27 am
can somebody hand me a medal
i just successfully procrastinated doing my work for three hours
might be coming down with a flu :(
took some flu meds hopefully i'll wake up feeling fresh & bright!
stress gives me the weirdest cravings ever
i'm drinking chocolate milk (milk, ME!), eating a slice of cheese and some chocolates
so tired....
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May 10th, 2012
08:56 pm
Just wanna be comfortable in my own skin. Is that too much to ask for? Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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May 6th, 2012
11:01 pm
One of the many lessons i've learnt from my time with you was that no matter how many times or how hard i begged, you'd never change your mind. Spent a little less than two years trying to keep in close contact, most of which included me texting you randomly but you rarely reciprocated with much enthusiasm. One day i woke up and the light bulb just clicked on: I'd never beg. Never. Never again. No one is worth the combination of my pride, tears and dignity. Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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April 14th, 2012
10:49 pm
"why are you motivated now?" ... "that doesn't sound very convincing to me."
L-O-FUCKING-L. I'm sorry I didn't know it was my job as a student to convince you that I am, truly, motivated. Anything else written in fine print I should've taken note of? I handed you my trust on a platter, you made a boomerang out of it and smashed me right in the face. How nice. Best teacher everrrr!
Wake up, Janice. People don't deserve to be trusted. Don't trust your parents because they're unsupportive and hypocritical fuckers who make empty promises and don't trust your teachers because they are, afterall, going to rip you off your individuality and force you to conform and obey.
I want to pop a whole box of painkillers to ease me of this pain.
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April 2nd, 2012
07:16 pm
i may put up a strong front, act as though i'm the toughest girl in the universe but deep down, i'm an emotional wreck. i'm afraid of getting hurt. i pretend i don't care, but that's because i want to cover up the fact that i care way more than i'd like to admit. i need assurance too, i need to be assured, reassured - double, triple doses of reassurance. i'm too dependent on the people i love, and often, i expect too much. sigh i don't even know why i'm typing this i just feel so empty.
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February 20th, 2012
10:20 pm
the fuck
im getting so clingy
...
feeling so sensitive when i get left out wtf this has never happened before
STOP.
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February 9th, 2012
02:39 am
sometimes, i wish people would understand that the stupid things i do come within deep inside me, and that i dont always mean to take my anger out on them. or that i, myself, am struggling with my own issues and it is amidst this internal struggle that i need to find somewhere i can channel all the negativity i'm feeling onto somewhere or even someone else.
or maybe, sometimes, i just wish someone would say, on my behalf, 'hey, i'm sure she didn't mean it, she's just in a bad place right now.'
because i do it for people all the time, and now i'm starting to wonder if i ever should have.
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February 8th, 2012
07:21 am - LYING ABOUT THE TIME - IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK
WHAT THE FUCK
... SERIOUSLY I hate it when my dad fucking lies about the time just to wake me up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osted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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February 5th, 2012
02:05 pm
today my mom and bro left for lunch without me. it wouldnt have affected me so much except that i've been having such a horrid time be it in school or at home or even outside with friends that i have reached my breaking point
i feel so left out everywhere
in school
at home
i seem to camouflage into the background my feelings are non existent just like me
fat
this week i have had three people telling me that im fat to my face
"make way for the fatso"
"ah pui"
"you so fat. need to exercise"
these comments...... lol all i can do is just to smile or laugh or act like im offended when in fact it really affects me so much that i want to hide myself away from the world because im so fucking fat
family what the fuck is that
are they a group of people who constantly remind me that i'm second place inferior to my brother
if it is then yup i have the best family ever
i know. focus on the good things in my life
friends..
jun
but everyone gets tired of listening to my whines and cries
eventually they'll leave
i dont want to build my world upon someone just to have it crumble and collapse when they leave
if i already am nothing now... what about then
and so here i am waterfalls of teardrops in front of my computer
alone
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January 22nd, 2012
02:37 pm
i wish i was clearheaded enough to know what i want and to have my life sorted out cos i'm a fucken mess right now
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